Nueva Latina

Oh Gaia! Maybe we should just let it end!

2007-11-03T16:29:00.000-07:00

I was just reading a story in that bastion of all things environmental, and other scientific reporting, Rolling Stone mag, with James Lovelock, father of environmental studies as we know them, regarding his views about our current climate conditions on Mother Earth aka Gaia. Um, so...not good. But it does answer my question: "So, like, when the whole climate change thing happens? Should I, like, stock on up on sunscreen or are we Nanuk-ing it?" Answer: SPF 5000, baby! And head north, eh!

Which is quite alright with me considering that nothing in our planet's environment seems to be more lethal than our current political clime. Obama is slamming Hillary Clinton's "textbook campaign" I think he's feeling a little "young" about the credentials.

Not that the Republicans are having a better go of it. The choices there seem to be a millionaire Mormon with dubious business practices, a thug from New York, a battle-weary vet who can't stop dropping the ball, and um, an actor whom Nixon once called "dumb".

BOOOOOO! 2008 is gonna be tight. Well, as my Faith and Critical Reasoning professor says, "Whom would Jesus vote for?" As a pacifist, who cared about all people, specifically the oppressed and downtrodden, I think the Jesus may have sat this one out. But one thing is for sure, what we've had for the last seven years has not worked. Rhetoric about God while committing unGodly acts is no longer OK. Faith is not the domain of the Republican party alone. Between sex scandals, pervy bathroom jaunts, and extreme corruption, this is more the party of the Immoral Majority than than the party who looked poised to hold a lock in American politics for years to come back in 2000. All I can say is "Thank You God!"

Well enough of that, there is a whole evening ahead of me, and I'm only halfway through my bottle of Reisling. Big ups to Trader Joe's and their 2 buck Chuck! (If you've ever gotten hammered from a Trader Joe's "under $5 special", you know what I mean). So I leave you with this:

A shout out to our favourite n***, Dog the Bounty Hunter, whose love for all peoples (since he is a Christian y'all, praise Jesus) is made clear in this special message to his fan:

Huh. Well you'd have to be as deluded as John Mark Karr's fiancee to think that this family feud is gonna end well. Turns out the son he is speaking with on the phone, Tucker Chapman, is the one who sold the tape to the Inquirer. Ouch.

VOTE STEPHEN COLBERT FOR PRESIDENT!

2007-10-28T17:05:00.000-07:00

Sweet Jesus! All my life I knew that if I was patient enough...I would find the Kennedy to my Monroe! Finally, I have my shot at dying a glamorous mysterious death at the hands of politicos with more ambition than morals! Ladies and gentlemen (and those of you undecided), Stephen Colbert has announced his run for president! Yes, Presidente-For-Life Esteban Colberto! His platform? Well he's from South Carolina so, so far he's committed to crushing Tennessee and Georgia! Um, that's okay with me since I live in NY and have never felt the need to venture past 14th Street. LOL, holy shizz. Um, I have to go now and get some wine and uh, find an outlet. (Never you mind for what!)

I do leave you with these words from Colbert:

(le sigh! He makes my girl parts tingle)

Our sisters in the Congo

2007-10-15T13:04:00.000-07:00

I don't usually post hardcore, painful shit like this,but I can't help feeling that whenever possible, we all have a duty to our sisters, wherever they are, to tell their stories. Here is an article I recently read in the NY Times.

Rape has become an epidemic in the Congo, which has left it's people devastated and it's an entire generation of women destroyed. This is beyond war, beyond tactics...this has become an incomprehensible, systematic destruction of a population of women. It leaves no person untouched - from the youngest (age 3) to the oldest, girls and women are being devastated every day.

Eastern Congo is going through another one of its convulsions of violence, and this time it seems that women are being systematically attacked on a scale never before seen here. According to the United Nations, 27,000 sexual assaults were reported in 2006 in South Kivu Province alone, and that may be just a fraction of the total number across the country.

Despite best efforts by United Nations peacekeepers, the epidemic has strained resources:

Panzi Hospital has 350 beds, and though a new ward is being built specifically for rape victims, the hospital sends women back to their villages before they have fully recovered because it needs space for the never-ending stream of new arrivals.

Please post links to this article, talk about it...bring awareness. Our sisters deserve it. If anyone knows how to send assistance, either by volunteering or through donations...please let me know.

Is it wrong that I enjoyed this?

2007-09-29T20:14:00.000-07:00

The Devil and Mr. Bush

2007-08-13T09:28:00.001-07:00

Just when I thought I couldn't get anymore good news! I get this breaking headline:

DING! DONG! THE WITCH IS DEAD!

Or in this case Karl Rove is done gone-ish. I say gone-ish, cause although he has formally stepped down, as my abuelita (R.I.P. abue) used to say, "Hierba mala nunca muera". Wise woman my Abue.

So here's the scoop:

Karl Rove resigned this morning from his post as chief political strategist, the latest in a line of Bush loyalists and top people to resign since the Democrats took over the House. Anyways he is siting "family" as the reason for departure. Ha! His kids in college....no college kid gives a crap about what their dad's are doing at work. What does he need him for? Um, Dad...can you hold my hair if I throw up at a kegger? Duh. How stupid do these slime balls think we are?

The Decider even looked choked-up watching his "Architect" as he has called Rove, announce his departure. You know those fools are cooking something up. Haven't the last years taught us that these fools will lie, cheat and steal to get what they want? What are you up to Karl Rove?

Anyway, I suppose we should just take these small blessings.

Oh, people! What are we doing wrong here?

2007-08-03T09:16:00.000-07:00

You know it's a sad ass week in life when I have to report what an upstanding citizen Nicole Ritchie is when compared to say....the Mayor of Los Angeles!

Essentially one of the most prominent Latino's in public office Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa was busted for having an affair with a Telemundo reporter Mirthala Salinas.

Now Telemundo is saying...hold up: Your ass was okay reporting that the Mayor was getting a divorce due to an affair...and you're the one bumping uglies with him! To save face, as much as from a sense of moral outrage, Telemundo has suspended Salinas for 2 months. Nice. Talk about embedded reporting.

So anyways, Nicole Ritchie is pregnant. Yikes. (Oh Lord help that baby) And it's so ghetto how that's going doing. A black chick is pregnant and going to jail first. That's just too familiar. And they say Hollywood is outta touch with the real world.

(LOLOL, I just love that picture!)

Let's stay on the subject of getting nailed: Watch as a waitress catches Mitt Romney off guard about health care in their community:

In my experience any conversation about health care that starts with "Unlike what Michael Moore says...." usually ends with someone sweating. So Romney started talking about Health Care and this waitress jumped in and nailed him about it. Here's an excerpt:

"we pay over $1,000 a month for our insurance. Then we have co pays. Every time you go to the doctor, it's $50 a visit. Then you have co-pays for our prescriptions. Can you tell me what your co pay is?"

"Yes," Romney said. "$10 for each prescription."

"That's very nice isn't it?" Griffin answered dryly.

"Yes. What are yours? Romney asked.

"Mine are like $30-$50. I have three sick children."

Here's my problem....in the video Romney starts talking about how his state is a model for health care etc. People making over 50K will have to pay their own insurance, but folks making less will get state help. Um, 50K puts you right in the middle class. The class otherwise known as the pay for every fucking aspect of American life. We pay for the poor to get welfare and health care and the rich to get tax breaks. I'm going to watch his plan much more closely. As far as he described it, it sounded more like robbing Pedro to help Pablo.

*sigh* Well our hearts go out to the families who lost loved ones in the Minneapolis bridge collapse.

Several days after the tragedy, investigators are still trying to figure out what caused the bridge to fall. The bridge, I-35W in Minneapolis, MN, was deemed "structurally deficient". A designation that apparently doesn't warrant emergency action and instead resulted in an intention to replace the bridge by 2020. Ooops.

Corrosion may have played a role here as well: the Minneapolis bridge - what's known as a deck steel truss bridge - was a concrete roadway supported by gridwork of steel. "When you use both concrete and steel like this," says William Miller, an expert on bridge engineering at Temple University in Philadelphia, "there can be chemical reactions going on where these two very different substances meet. This is especially a problem in extreme climates where water can get into the cracks between supports, freeze and expand and cause a huge amount of damage." Beyond that, says Miller, "concrete is a very forgiving material, and so it can stand up to a lot of cracking and wear. Steel on the other hand, cannot." In a place like Minnesota, where road crews dump corrosive ice melter on roadways by the ton in winter, the problem is even worse.

According to Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty, speaking Thursday afternoon at a press conference, there are no fewer 70,000 to 80,000 bridges in the U.S. in the same category; at least another 80,000 are considered "functionally obsolete," or not up to current design standards, another label that fails to testify to a structure's safety for travel.

So the idea of having to pay for all that would rightly make taxpayers crazy. Of course the idea of dying while crossing the Tappan Zee to get to the Palisades Mall seems like a bad way to go too. Hmm, guess I'll cross that bridge when it collapses.

Okay, chicas, I gotta go get my hair did. All this talk of health care and falling bridges and slutty Mayor's makes a girl cranky. See you soon for another episodio fantastico of Nueva Latina!

SICK -O fight is on bitches!

2007-07-11T10:28:00.000-07:00

So if you have been watching anything other than a summer re-run of Ugly Betty, then you know about the bitch fight between Michael Moore and Wolf Blitzer, CNN and Dr. Sanjay Gupta (CNN medical correspondent).

Watch Michael Moore slap Wolf down:

Alls I'm saying is if anybody should be the watchdog for our health care system if should definitely be an overweight, extremely stressed individual who's lifestyle will more'n likely shorten his lifespan. If he don't give a shizz about health care....who will???

To follow the story, click here, and here, and here, (OY already!) and here.

Okay. Moving on. In much, much lighter news (eyes rolling) and holding my title as the Reigning "Queen of the Non-Sequiturs", I just love when O'Reilly (holding a straight face) tries to actually be "hard" on the administration:
In this O'Reilly Factor he tells Tony Snow "You Can't Win Iraq". Wow. While I fight back the vomit in my mouth....I have to say that I find myself agreeing with O'Reilly. And then just as I'm about to pass out from nodding my head....he totally softballs the rest of the interview letting Snow have the last word. WHAT? When the hell else does that ever happen on O'Reilly?

As someone who has family in this war, as a New Yorker who was downtown when the Towers fell....I love and support the men and women who VOLUNTEER to raise arms on our behalf. I just don't want to see anymore of them die or worse...die and have their families lied to about why we are there.

OKAY. For real this time. On to lighter shizz!! BUFFY THE MUSICAL HITS NEW YORK!!

Tix are still available for tomorrow's MIDNIGHT showing. Man alive....but I just want to "be aaaaaaaallllllliiiiiiiivvvvveeeee". And if for some insane reason you do not know what I'm talking about....STOP READING THIS BLOG AND GO AWAY. WHO.ARE.YOU? or check this out!

Ugh. Tomorrow I have this shindig with my boss that I'm completely pshyched about. But I'm looking way un-dead with by Frida Kahlo caliber uni-brow. I'll also have to rely on my natural tan, cause my ass will not be caught dead in a suit until I lose this started-in-spring/flourished-in-fall/got-outta-control-in-winter weight.

I have an appointment to see my girl at Shobha salon tomorrow who will take care of my facial hair (once she stops laughing). *sigh* Holla at ya, peeps! I got a dirrty 'tini with my name on it....

Las Atrevidas and Feliz Fourth of July!!

2007-07-04T16:05:00.000-07:00

Hello mujeres, what an incredible weekend and what a fabulous Fourth of July. A time to celebrate our country's independence seems like just the right time to celebrate my independence from old habits and old ways of thinking.

I had the pleasure to meet and befriend a group of amazing and powerful women over the course of the last two weekends in this powerful workshop led by Natasha Bannan. Please meet.....The Atrevidas!!

(from bottom left to top right: Dula, Maru, Kristen, Migdalia, Charlyn, LeeAnn, Aurora, Ruth and Natasha)

My new sister's and I went to places in our lives and hearts and formed a strong bond. I make a vow to be there for them and know they feel the same way. And a huge SHOUT OUT to Natasha for gently guiding us to where we needed to be.

Okay and on with the blog:

In "Why People Hate Americans" news

The Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest at Nathan's Famous at New York's Coney Island closed with American Joey Chestnut bringing the title home.

(American Joey Chestnuts, right, takes title from Takeru Kobayashi of Japan

In a gut-busting showdown that combined drama, daring and indigestion, Joey Chestnut emerged Wednesday as the world's hot dog eating champion, knocking off six-time titlist Takeru Kobayashi in a rousing triumph.
Chestnut, the great red, white and blue hope in the annual Fourth of July competition, broke his own world record by inhaling 66 hot dogs in 12 minutes _ a staggering one every 10.9 seconds before a screaming crowd in Coney Island.

"If I needed to eat another one right now, I could," the 23-year-old Californian said after receiving the mustard yellow belt emblematic of hot dog eating supremacy.

Yep. Don't get me wrong I am proud and grateful to live in a country of plenty. Um, but do we have to have contests that revolve around wanton gluttony and a $20K prize? *sigh*

Well at least we aren't flaunting our excess in some damn Rock, Paper, Scissor tournament in Las Vegas! Oh, wait.....

Ugh. Okay and in further news of why people hate us:

The CDC (Centers for Disease Control) is now reporting that TB guy Andrew Speaker (aka the douche who flew across the world imparting disease) DOES NOT have the XDR-TB, which is a very drug resistant form of the disease. Instead he has another form of TB which can be treated with drugs. Still contagious, still TB....but YAY not as drug-resistant. Undoubtedly his lawyer dad and he will now be thinking of ways to spin his appalling lack of sense. Maybe sue the CDC.

And in news around the world....DA baby! Russia's Black Sea resort of Sochi was awarded the 2014 Olympics on Wednesday, rewarding President Vladimir Putin and taking the Winter Games to his country for the first time. Nice.

Okay. I hadn't wanted to address this in hopes that it would just go away. But as you know the Bush commuted Scooter Libby's sentence. While claiming that he respected the jury's verdict, Bush nevertheless said “But I have concluded that the prison sentence given to Mr. Libby is excessive.” Excessive. Huh. Funny words from a man under whose leadership we have seen some of the worst violations of personal freedoms towards its citizens.

Mr. Bush comes at the decision a weakened leader, with his public approval ratings at historic lows for any president, his domestic agenda faltering on Capitol Hill and his aides facing subpoenas from the Democrats who control Congress. Those circumstances offer him a certain amount of freedom; as Mr. Black said, “He knows he’s going to get hammered no matter what he does.”

With 18 long months left to his presidency we will have to wait and see how this plays out for him and for the Republican candidates who may be forced to answer for the president.

In lighter news, here's a funny as hell clip from Lil' Bush the new Comedy Central hit cartoon show featuring some very familiar faces. In this clip Lil' Bush decides that chores are un-American and therefore we need un-Americans to do them:

LOLOLOLOL!!! God I love America!! Making fun of our elected officials (with impunity...for the most part...right? right? oh God.) is why I'm proud to be an American Latino!

Okay, so I leave you with these parting words of wisdom: Trust in the Universe, Have Faith in your Vision....and never show your panty lines! Whilst at the gym working out some personal and body issues, I caught sight of this otherwise lovely Latina flashing some serious panty cleavage. Yikes. It's bad enough to have to worry about passing out before you complete your workout, but add passing out with your calzones digging into your butt fat!

Lucky for me I found YogaSmart Pants from Yogini Style. While not cheap, at $60 bucks a pop, they do make working out a little easier on the ego. The trick is they build the panty right into the pant! That way you don't have to worry about your undies flashing or demarking the meridian between actual ass and ass fat. (Obviously I don't have to say to wash after every work out.)

YogaSmart pants from YoginiStyle: $60
Keeping your dignity in tact while striking the Downward Dog: Priceless

Okay ladies, that's it for today. See you soon for another exciting adventure as a Nueva Latina!

Paris is Burning! (and maybe we should let her..)

2007-06-27T10:59:00.001-07:00

Let me start with this: I do agree with Tammy Lynn Michaels (Melissa Ethridge's life partner) that we are tooo freakin' focused on this soap trash than we are on actual events affecting our very lives.
In this open letter to Larry King, who scored the first Paris interview apres-prison, she asks him to remember what made an interview with him an event instead of a joke.

So in deference to her and to my conscience (shut up you, I get it!) I want to make sure you all know that Michael Moore's film SICKO which blows the lid off our crazy-ass health (s)care system in our country, comes out this Friday June 29th!!

In addition Mike Moore asks that people contribute their own experiences with health care providers via You Tube on his SICKO group.

Here is a video from a woman who took up the call to post her experiences:

So okay...I did post something meaningful. We should move away from the whole slutty, sense-challenged heiresses. And yet....

Aww. That's nice. Now we can all go back to counting down the time before she melts down again.

I have to share this gem from Nora Ephron as she discusses why having Paris out is good for American families! LOLOLOLOL!!!

But these weeks without Paris have been a nightmare. Paris is a boon. I don't think anyone understands this. For those of us who are parents, she provides an opportunity for judgment that is almost unparalleled in modern times. (Unless of course you count Lee Harvey Oswald's mother.) How fabulous to look at those Hilton parents and say to yourself, well, whatever I did as a parent, it wasn't that. Whatever my regrets, whatever my failings, whatever my ineptness, however much I worry that I forgot to tell my kids about how to use the soup spoon, at least I am not on the phone to Barbara Walters in the middle of the night trying to negotiate a television appearance for my daughter on the occasion of her release from prison.

And TMZ.COM reports that the Sheriff "Represent the (Rich) People" Baca says that if he hadn't acted....Paris might have done something (else) rash:

Did Paris' Mind Dangerously Deteriorate in Jail?

Paris Hilton's life was "definitely in danger," TMZ was told yesterday by Sheriff Lee Baca, and according to Baca, it was "decompensating" that made things so dicey for Paris while she was inside.

Baca revealed the real psychiatric diagnosis when he appeared before the County Board of Supervisors yesterday, and according to UsMagazine.com, it was "decompensating," which is the deterioration of a person's mental state to the point of severe depression, anxiety or delusions, he explained.

Paris' state of mind was no doubt considerably healthier as she ate and slept like a free woman Tuesday. People reports that balloons and a cake reading "Welcome Home" in pink (not orange) frosting arrived at her grandparents' home, and her hair extensionist at DreamCatchers came around to lengthen her locks.

*sigh* That's all for now. Oh, just a petition to Jebus: "Please save us...or send another flood...possibly localized in Hollywood" Thanks!

Renew, Recycle...Re-elect GORE!!! (subtitle - HAPPY SUMMER SOLSTICE!!)

2007-06-21T17:55:00.000-07:00

Buenas tardes mujeres and we have a jam-packed show for you today. Let's start right off with this hee-larious pic from our friends at Gallery of the Absurd:

If you recall Paula Abdul took some flack for her supposed accident in tripping over her chihuahua!

LOLOL. Lesson here: don't mix vicadin and dog walking. (14 at Gallery always delivers!)

And on with the show!

Gossip: All the crap that's fit to spew!

I found this adorable picture on the web of robot Baby Suri Cruise-Holmes. Aww man What. A. Cutie. I swear they make those things more life-like everyday!

Bendito. Oooh, so for kicks I threw in pic of proto-Suri before and after she was made to Tom's specs:

It's in the eyes. That's how you can tell it's a robot.

Here's the Japanese infomercial where Tom got the idea to buy his very own Proto-Suri 3000:

I tell ya! Those late night infomercials will kill you. That's why I have like 12 Thigh-Masters.

Hmmm, I wonder how many proto-Suri's they went through before meeting Tom's specs? Maybe the Society for Digital-Americans needs to get involved. I mean even robots - er Digital-Americans - have rights too! Or they soon will....

And speaking of trampling on the rights of others....gay-bashing, homo-hatin' Isaiah Washington was recently let go from his role as Dr. Preston Burke on Grey's Anatomy.
A fact that has only encouraged him to continue his inability to shut his mouth. I've said it here before...in any other job an employee who creates a hostile work environment vis-a-vis racist, sexists or homophobic comments should be fired. The same should go for actors!

Well on the subject of hostile work places, I read on TMZ that a popular morning show in LA called Kevin and Bean (KROQ) was censored by station lawyers for playing a "Ode to the Vagina" of sorts. A song spoof of Plain White T's current hit, "Hey there Delila". So of course I had to listen to it and get a copy for you...take a listen to today's podcast!

It's disgusting, disturbing and therefore hilarious. And not likely to darken my podcast again.

Politics: A slice of truth with a side of
vicious, vicious truthiness!

So speaking of disgusting and disturbing, Trent Lott went on an immigration rampage again recently.

(Lott family album left to right: Lott, Lott with other bigots including Strom Thurman - baby daddy to a black woman, pic of fence Lott proposes, pics from recent Lott family reunion)

Trent Lott is a ba-ba-black sheep on illegal immigrants. In this article he compares illegal immigrants to goats.....and I quote:

Sen. Minority Whip Trent Lott, R-Miss., was talking to reporters Wednesday about the immigration bill, when he said, "If the answer is 'build a fence' I've got two goats on my place in Mississippi. There ain't no fence big enough, high enough, strong enough, that you can keep those goats in that fence."

"Now people are at least as smart as goats," Lott continued. "Maybe not as agile. Build a fence. We should have a virtual fence. Now one of the ways I keep those goats in the fence is I electrified them. Once they got popped a couple of times they quit trying to jump it."

Hear my general rantings on the subject in today's podcast.

So this week Nueva Latina reported NYC Mayor Mike Bloomberg's potential run for office. Though he remains coy about his abrupt renunciation of his Republican ties, talk still abounds about a potential '08 run.
Though I do like that he is not afraid to be very at odds with the Republican party on issues such as: his support of gay marriage, abortion rights, gun control and stem cell research, and raised property taxes to help solve a fiscal crisis after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. It's just....his voice is really nasally and I just don't think I could stand to hear his State of the Union addresses. *sigh*

Informational and Hot Pick of the Week:

Well let's talk about things that I can control...like my hair. This weeks podcast is filled with tips and trick to get your hair to behave this summer. I went to the good folks at Real Simple to get the latest scoop on saving your hair this summer!

Here's a taste:
If your hair is flat and lifeless.....add volume with an anti-humidity hairspray at the roots! Like VO5's Max! Hold Fast Drying Hair Spray...available at drugstores.

If your hair is soppy and grasoso (like mine).....sprinkle hair powder on the scalp to absorb excess sebum! (see hot pick below)

If your hair is dry and dull (seco y feo)....use a heating element (like flat or curling iron, depending on how you like to do your do). The heat seals the cuticles allowing the hair to lie flat and reflect more light

If your hair looks like crazy Tia Yolanda's all woolly and frizzy.....the use moisture blocking creasm or serum like Arrojo Defrizz Serum.

Which brings me to today's HOT PICK!! I suffer from over production of sebum. A fancy way of saying my hair can get as greasy as Brandon Davis if I'm not careful. So I was excited when the folks at Real Simple told me about Hair Fix!

It is a dry shampoo that helps absorb oil!! And I quote:

Hair Fix is perfect for extending the life of your hair style, adding volume, keeping your hair looking and smelling fresh when you are in a hurry, traveling or any time you aren't able to wash your hair. Simply shake the bottle, dispense a small amount of Hair Fix close to your scalp and work through your hair with fingers or a brush. Your hair is left smelling fabulously fresh and clean, excess oil is absorbed and your hair is full of volume and bounce.

Hair Fix is available only through their website! I am going to buy their whole dam inventory so get their soon mujeres!

Anyway, that is all I have left in me today. You have taken everything! I'll see you all soon! Don't forget to subscribe to Nueva Latina's podcast so you can stay fresh and current on all our stuff!

Summer is for Flip-Flops!

2007-06-19T19:07:00.000-07:00

Hola mujeres!! So today is scoopalicious for politics of all things. I am keeping it brief since I have to mentally and emotionally prepare myself for a gyno exam tomorrow. Call me old fashioned, but if I pull my shorts down for you....I at least deserve dinner. Anyway....on with the show!

Gossip: Lies fresh from the liars mouth!

Speaking of girls who like to pull down their shorts....

So US Weekly reports that Lindsay Lohan is cancelling her B-Day bash! The party, originally set to be sponsored by Svedka Vodka and PURE nightclub in Vegas. PURE apparently let her out of the contract, even though they'd ponied up, because she promises to make other drunken appearances after she gets outta rehab. Good for her. I hate people who shirk.

Yikes. Where is that girls Madre? Oh right. Wishing desperately that she could be her daughter instead of a middle-age divorcee trying hard to be relevant.

In other f-up mofo news TMZ is reporting that they have obtained a copy of the OJ Simpson "If I Did It" opus. Puke. I will not go into his disturbing descriptions of the murders. You can read them here. But I will share this quote:

Now I was standing in Nicole's courtyard, in the dark, listening to the loud, rhythmic, accelerated beating of my own heart. I put my left hand to my heart and my shirt felt strangely wet. I looked down at myself. For several moments, I couldn't get my mind around what I was seeing. The whole front of me was covered in blood, but it didn't compute. Is this really blood? I wondered. And whose blood is it? Is it mine? Am I hurt?

Why is this scumbag still alive? Que mierda.

Moving on. Swiftly. In less horrifying news Rosie O'Donell says she would "accept" the job, if offered, to be the next host of the Price is Right.
Hmm, not sure how I feel about that. I love her commentary and the Price is Right is what? Bunch of middle Americans guessing on the price of jam? Eh, I'll have to check it out...I have a vague memory of my Mami yelling out "NO TONTOS! Cinco dolares! Que estupidos."

Politics: A slice of truth with a vicious, vicious side of truthiness!

Okay, so is has anybody else been following the Hillary Clinton campaign's search for a theme song? You know her husband, Bill? He made his campaign a hit with "Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow" by Fleetwood Mac. This time Hills thoughtfully asked fans to contribute. Here are the results......(drumroll....pause....tension builds) But first...
Here's a tongue-in-cheek take from the Hills for Prez campaign:

AND THE WINNER IS: (*sigh)

Eh. Wahwah. Not so impressed. But I'm seriously less impressed with the Huffington Post reporting that Billionaire Flip-Flopper and my city's mayor, Mike Bloomberg has switched affiliations....AGAIN. This guy se cambia los pantalones mas frequente que un pedorro!

NEW YORK — New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg on Tuesday switched his party status from Republican to unaffiliated, a stunning move certain to be seen as a prelude to an independent presidential bid that would upend the 2008 race.

The billionaire former CEO, who was a lifelong Democrat before he switched to the GOP for his first mayoral run, said the change in voter registration does not mean he is running for president.

"Although my plans for the future haven't changed, I believe this brings my affiliation into alignment with how I have led and will continue to lead our city," he said in a statement.

Despite his coyness about his aspirations, the mayor's decision to switch stokes speculation that he will pursue the White House, challenging the Democratic and Republican nominees with a legitimate and well-financed third-party bid.

BOO! HISS! Renew, Recycle...Re-Elect GORE!

So as I mentioned...I'm having a look at the plumbing tomorrow...nothing to worry about...just routine. But I wanted to pass this along to you all. LATINA'S NEED TO GET THEIR HOO-HAAS LOOKED AT. We are very bad about going to the doctor's...but when your girl is happy....you are happy. So take a look at these alarming stats:

Latina Health Stats
Only 38% of Latinas, age 40 and older, have regular mammograms.
One out of every three Latinas reported that they failed to get a pap test in the preceding three years--compared with one-quarter of all American women.
The rate of maternal mortality among Latinas is 1.7 times higher than for white women.
The Latina teen pregnancy rate is more than twice the rate of white women and the rate of chlamydia among Latinas is more than 3.5 times higher than for white women.

Please, please, please mujeres...got take care of yourselves and find out what's going on "down there"!

Okay....that's it for today. I have to go drink an adult beverage to calm my nervious for tomorrow's gyno exam. Holla at ya later!

4 outta 5 dentist do not think this is cool!

2007-06-15T22:00:00.001-07:00

Hello hotties! It is the beginning of another beautiful week and I am psyched!! RRRRAAAWW! Ok. That was weird. But I'm keeping myself together. I'm not super-excited about this week...but eh. I gotta give it a go. No strike that. I am excited. My friend, our pal Laurel O'Neil is back from the TB lovin' land of Canada. Canada...who's motto is "Come on in, eh! You had that cough long?"

Big heapin' help o' gossip:

Let's start our day with this hilarious pic from our friends at Gallery of the Absurd...Princess on Her Throne! (LOLOLOL...I'm gonna go to hell...but this shizz is funny!!
LOLOLOLOL.(wipes evil tears from eyes) Awww shizz. It was inspired by this article from the NY Daily News talking about Paris trying to keep off of food so's not to get caught poopin'!

Oh man and speaking of peeps who look like they are taking a shizz...get a load of this Britney Spears banner that is showing up in LA as a promo for a new morning show there.
Girlfriend is just never living that hair-buzz down. Of course, her peeps are filing suit. TMZ reports that Brit-Brit's lawyer is demanding that Clear Channel (who owns the ads) take them down ASAP. (Before Brit really does something crazy)

Politics: A slice of truth with a side of
vicious, vicious truthiness!

And speaking of "dumb mistakes", Democratic presidential contender Barack Obama is trying to kill a memo that his campaign leaked which reads in part:

"Hillary Clinton (D-Punjab) _ and referred to Bill and Hillary Clintons' investments in India; her fundraising among Indian-Americans; and the former president's $300,000 in speech fees from Cisco, a company that has moved U.S. jobs to India."

Yikes. So of course our Indian-American friends weren't loving it. This from the candidate that swore he is above dirty politics. He pinky-swears that it was a "dumb mistake" and that he and his senior staff would be very diligent about the kind of smut - er about not sending out negative memos.

*sigh* It's getting harder to believe people nowadays.

Well alls I can say is Obama better watch his back. Cause latest Gallup poll suggest he and Gore are tied for second place behind Hills...and Gore ain't even running. Yet! LOLOL. Renew, Recycle...Re-Elect Gore!! LOLOL.

Informational: For your consideration:

So I was concerned to read that right here in my fair city of New York we are getting a tube full of antifreeze. Seems that the FDA and Colgate found some counterfeit toothpaste being hawked around the city. At the $ .99 stores around the hood. Just went I freakin' switched from Aquafresh! Dang. The FDA and Colgate say the fauxpaste may contain the toxic chemical diethylene glycol, or DEG, and is labeled as being manufactured in South Africa. And while the pinky-swear it's not enough to be lethal, two peeps in my area have already been hospitalized AND then I read this shizz:

DEG-contaminated toothpaste has been seized in Costa Rica, the Dominican Republic, Panama and Nicaragua. The sweet substance, sometimes used as a substitute for glycerin, was found in cough syrup in Panama that led to the deaths of at least 100 people last year

You can also watch a scary-ass video from ABC News and Diane Sawyer telling you just how easy it is to fall prey to counterfeit shizz. Anyway, the moral of this story is....pay more, die less.

And in other news...the rich are getting richer. I know. It shocked me too. But apparently unlike the rest of us fearing the housing slump, the rich remain bullish on the real estate market.

Well, as I always say don't put off being rich tomorrow...when you can start today. I don't always say that, but I do know that working for someone else isn't gonna do it. And according to Penelope Trunk, career expert, NOW is the time to consider doin' your own thang.

Hot Pick of the Week:

This great product comes from Bare Minerals by Bare Escentuals which you can find here. I've tried it and can testify that not only are their products caliente...they also leave you feeling smart about your skin. I'm hooked on the sunless tanning line (though I do have a natural gorgeous tan...gracias Mami) Give it a try...I promise that you won't regret it. And, hey anything that will help leave the arrugas on your linen and not your face is worth a shot!

That's it for today, mujeres. I gotta go to the gym and work some late winter/middle spring/early summer weight that's been hanging around like a bad economy! I leave you with this clip from Jon Stewart feat. Angelina Jolie as she tries to explain why she doesn't believe in censoring the press. Except if they are FOX News. Which I totally agree with. Enjoy!

SideKicked in the Teeth

2007-06-11T16:20:00.001-07:00

I am ecstatic to debut Nueva Latina TV and Spin Alley!! Handpicked pearls of viddy goodness from Nueva Latina TV and precious gems of newsy/gossipy deliciousness for Spin Alley. See the content-rich sidebar for both of these new additions to Nueva Latina!

*sigh* You know it's gonna be a bad day when you get on the phone with your service provider to describe in painful detail how bad their service has been....and 4 hours later you are still on the phone explaining. There are very few things in life that I hate so much as T-Mobile. 80's leggings, this war in Iraq....and maybe stepping in pig shit. After dealing with just about every sort of maniacal policy reader at T-Mobile, I am happy to say: Go AT&T! Here I come. The SideKick 3 does not work. There is proof here, and CNet said "The T-Mobile Sidekick 3 suffers from a low-resolution screen, and speakerphone quality was subpar. It's also a bit bulky and heavy, and camera options are limited." Now add really bad service reception on both of my SideKicks and you get an idea of my crappy experience.

I just spent the better part of today dealing with their customer service...that though polite....lacked any imagination in resolving my customer service issue. *sigh* I'm sorry I ever left you Verizon. Well on with the show:

Politics:

Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez under fire...thank Jebus. You know I hate talk shizz about other Latinos, but Gonzalez needs to get the hell outta Capitol Hill!

Update: GRRR....GOP blocks Senate vote of NO CONFIDENCE IN GONZALES

Gossip:
Interesting read from Jamie Lee Curtis....I love that she rightly points out that what is wrong with Paris probably started with the lack of parenting.
My analyst told me this: "Children are paparazzi. They take your picture mentally when you don't want them to, when you don't look good, and show it back to you in their behavior."

J.Lo and Marc Zombie hit the PR Day Parade....I send a lotta love out to the PR peeps!!

Okay, short post today since I have lots to do to get rid of T-Mobile and get ready for tomorrow. Don't forget to watch Nueva Latina TV, I'm featuring a lot of great content from Stephen Colbert, Jon Stewart and the always classy Keith Olbermann. And listen to my latest podcast...its' hilarious!!

Technorati Tags: paris hilton, jamie lee curtis,

TB or not TB.....is that the question?

2007-06-03T16:23:00.000-07:00

So as I was trolling the web...I came across Tim Long's (Huffington Post) new column called American Migraine. This weeks migraine? Kids Ask Questions!

And now this week's podcast:

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Experiencing Technical Difficulties....Please Stand By!

2007-05-24T19:33:00.000-07:00

Well party people, the good news is...VOY TV is upgrading their fantastic service. The bad news: it's causing my prime vids to be taken down MOMENTARILY!!

This will not effect the audio podcasts....just the visuals. Stay tuned for more news! (Eh - I'll put up with this shizz cause their vids are cool.)

In the meantime...please enjoy an encore of Nueva Latina's Episode 5 featuring my sidekick Laurel O'Neil:

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This is from the Peabody Award-winning* October show entitled "Women on the Edge"

(*Well Mo Peabody - my next door neighbor...he said it was good.)

For my friend Reggie....

2007-04-14T11:20:00.000-07:00

Reginald Dwight Rovelo-Wybiral
1992 - 2007

Dear Reggie,
Thank you. Thank you for your patience with me when I didn't want to leave a warm bed to see to your comfort. Thank you for forbearance when I lectured you about the subsequent "accidents" you had in the house. Thank you for your grace and dignity no matter how extreme the changes in your circumstances. I found you at a rescue and they found you in a kill shelter. Still, you were so willing to laugh and love and romp and play and just enjoy every precious moment that life gave you. Thank you for forgiving Linda, who brought you to us from rescue (Cocker Adoption). You were so sad to be dropped off yet again with two strangers. You gave us the time to prove ourselves and we grew to love each other so much. I miss you buddy. I hope that you are well and free from cancer and tumors and all the things that afflicted your earthly body.

Love, Leyden aka "Other mommy"

Friday night's alright for fightin'!

2006-12-08T10:56:00.000-08:00

Awww shizzy, TGIF people! I am ready for my weekend Margarita kickoff. Or Dirrty Martini. But see I likes my drinks in moderation people! Or drinking around peeps who don't have a camera phone. In any case this looks to be a great weekend and I appreciate all the beautiful people joining me for another rockin' edition of Nueva Latina.

My Mamita is in town and I can't wait to hang out with her! We are so classy that we are heading out to the BBQ's (don't hate) and havin' ourselves too much food and too much fun! She is here doing some Christmas shopping, and I'm being a good little elf helping her pick out my presents. Actually I'm lending a big hand with the kid's presents! Wait 'til you see what I have planned as gifts for the children in the fams! (hint: see my HotPick this week).

This week on Nueva Latina we bring you The Three Disgraces from our friends at Gallery of the Absurd! LOLOLOL. Aww hell, those crazy girls sure can party. But it seems that our friend Britney has posted a response to all the hoopla surrounding her recent rash of snatch sightings (pun totally intended!). Though, like her modesty, it may be too little to late for some fans. In related news, Bette Midler slammed the unholy triumvirate! LOL!! In the article even crazy Courtney "has anyone seen my pills" Love takes Britney's parenting skills to task. You know you got problems when Courtney takes time outta her face lift to tell you about yourself!

DON'T FORGET TO CHECK OUT NUEVA LATINA'S HILARIOUS PODCAST!! (CHECK OUT THE SIDEBAR!)

And from our fabulous friends at VOY TV we bring a twosome that, were in not for my divergent interests, may otherwise never be viewed together. This week's Video Roll is a clip from the O'Reilly Factor which includes an interview with the malevolent Michelle Malkin (damn my love of alliteration)! In November I did a VR featuring Keith Olbermann's comments about professional agitators. This reminded me why I thought that clip was so interesting. I've also included a bonus trailer from Dreamgirls, just cause I can't wait to see it!! Enjoy.

And Finally, all the links to the stuff discussed on the show (or that you should be aware about):

Gossip:
This is what happens when Oprah says "Uh, Tom, can you please stop sending the scientology recruits to my house? I'm gonna hafta set the dogs on them if they keep pushing-up on the Jehovah's Witnesses!" Tom Cruise is so spiteful.

LOLOLOL!!! First he saves the planet, then Al Gore saves Lindsay Lohan! LOLOL!! Lindsay is seriously in need of some intervention. Though clearly Al Gore thinks that he has a better chance of saving the planet!!

Politics:
Every time I think I've heard enough, I hear more from one of these vitriolic, "hate-filled" banshees.

Mary Cheney (Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter) gets preggers and the conservatives go ape shizz!

According to Nancy Pelosi, the new Democratic House Speaker, the Republicans are leaving the Monkey House a mess, and according the Republicans it's not their fault. (eh, so what else is new?)

The ex-Representative Republican Mark Foley has his very own panel! And they've decided that Republicans left the Congressional pages too vulnerable to Foley's sexual advances (uh-DUH!) See that's why, kiddies, when your supervisor tells you to "oil up" before you bring him a fax...you ask questions!

Information:

I am a HUGE Joss Whedon fan. I mean HUGE. So I was excited to hear that Buffy The Vampire Slayer is back!! Now if we could only get Firefly on the air!!

So, this week's HotPick is from this wonderful company I found called Baby Abuelita. These dolls were created by Hilda Argilagos-Jimenez and Carol Fenster as a way to "preserve Hispanic heritage for every generation." Go get these for every Latin kid you know!!

Anyway with classics like "Los Pollitos Dicen" and "El Patio de mi Casa", these wonderful dolls will help you reclaim the beautiful lullabys of your distant youth. Well mine isn't so distant....shut up....it isn't.

To the MOOOON!!

2006-12-04T15:01:00.000-08:00

Okay, now I normally don't do a blog without a podcast planned....but this was brought to my attention and soooo, of course I had to share with my peeps!

I hate to follow trends...I prefer to be on the avant gard. But to hell with that! If Stephen Hawkings says we must go into outer space then I start packing! Then I was sent this article from the Washington Post, and suddenly I'm thinking "To hell with packing....I need to get my shizz together and buy some lunar property!"

I missed out on the big boom in SoHo...I'm not going to miss out on the Moon.

Welcome Back and now...go fight AIDS!

2006-12-01T11:52:00.000-08:00

Hello all the beautiful people and happy Friday! We are back after the holiday (and my birthday) hiatus!! I am feeling great and we have so much ground to cover. It feels like I leave ya'll for two minutes and Britney is flashing va-jay-jay, Pammie Cakes and Kid Rock are dunzo, Michael Richards has an aneurysm! What the hell peeps??? Okay, Leyden breathe. Just breathe.

Well today, December 1st is World's AIDS day were we take the time to understand the impact and find ways to get involved. I urge you to visit the web and find the resources online or in your community to understand and help FIGHT this scourge!

Okay, so as you know...we have been on hiatus for a couple of weeks during the Thanksgiving holiday (hope you had a great one by the way) and for my b-day!! Yes, I celebrated another year of ME! And the festivities continue this weekend...let me just say that table tops and adult beverages are involved! But thanks to the lessons gleaned from watching the unholy triumvirate of Britney, Paris and Lindsay...I have chosen to wear jeans to all festivities. No chucha flashing for this party girl!

But lest you think I forgot you while I was partying up a storm...quite the opposite! I have been hard at work with the peeps at VOY Music putting together the Nueva Latina Radio!! Which I am debuting today!! The hottest tracks in Pop, Rock, Latin and even Christmas music!! Take a listen...this will be a permanent feature on the site.

And on with the show! Today we catch up on our gossip and talk with our friend Laurel O'Neil about this, that and the other thing.

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Thanks to our friends at VOY TV, I bring you this great Nueva Latina: Awesome 80's Video Roll! Featuring some of my favourite shows and commercials from the 80's. WARNING: You will not get the Facts of Life theme song out of your head for days!

AND lest you think I done lost my mind with all the fluff...here is a bonus Nueva Latina Political Video Roll. Featuring the hilarious hijinks of Bill O'Reilly and also featuring sexy and somber Keith Olbermann. I also threw in Michael Richard's racist rant. Please enjoy!

And finally the LINKS to the stuff we talked about today!

Gossip:
Everybody is talking all things Dreamgirls!
Speaking of the 80's, um dang...it's hard to fall from stardumb!
O Magazine and Oprah get sued for trying to trifle with folks'money. Personally I think the lady who is suing is a loon.
Awww! The Crocodile Hunter's baby boy turns 3! I so feel for these kids to have lost such a great dad. *sigh*

Politics:
Under 30? Don't Procreate! Masturbate!
NewsHound takes an in-depth look at the O'Reilly vs. Barney Frank interview.

Informational:
Sometimes hilarious, sometimes just plain bizarre! Check out the all time most viral videos courtesy of the Viral Factory!

I just couldn't decide on which of these terrific items to feature and then realized (duh!) I don't have to decide! Since we are heading into the Christmas and Hanukkah holidays I figure you could use some ideas. That said, these items are also helping to fight AIDS...what better day to present them then on World AIDS awareness day!

Here are today's HotPicks:

1) iPod's are beyond all the rage...so by giving this as a gift to your loved ones (or yourself) you are also helping to fight AIDS: Apple will give $10 of its purchase price to the Global Fund to fight AIDS in Africa.

2) The GAP is known for it's phenomenal, well priced casual wear. But it is also teaming up with French designer Roland Mouret, to feature a line of well-priced frocks. This one (shown right) will benefit the Gap's RED initiative with half the proceeds benefiting the Global Fund to fight AIDS. (If you don't like the dress (or the French) the GAP is featuring several items at its stores that benefit its RED initiative).

3) Last but not least, you all know I'm a make-up maven! Well I am glad to say that M.A.C. make-up is doing its part to fight AIDS. These cards are part of their Kids helping Kids initiative that feature art created by children on behalf of children affected by HIV/AIDS. Head on over to M.A.C. dot com to check them out!

Okay that's it for me today. I hope you appreciate this Supersized edition of Nueva Latina! As always, please post your comments or send me a comment to thenuevalatina@gmail.com!

Cultural Learnings of America!: All Hail the King!

2006-11-13T12:58:00.000-08:00

Hello all the beautiful people of the world! Happy Wednesday to one and all. It's a glorious day and a wonderful week! I had a FABU weekend, just finished my office at home and am settled in (mostly). I'm still having some internet blues...I feel soo disconnected. BUT, let's hit the ground running:

So today's pic is this hilarious "poster" I found whilst scouring the web (to bring you only the best material!). It's supposedly for a Jive Records promo poster for Justin Timberlake. I'm not even sure it's real....but who cares? It's hilarious!! Enjoy!

And ON WITH THE SHOW! Today we discuss more Britney Spears bitter divorce, we wish a Sweet 16 to the Internet, OJ Simpson is crazy (duh!), Professional Agitators, fraud alerts and how to tell if you are driving your man away!

Nueva Latina: Episode 10

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In today's Nueva Latina Video Roll: A segment from Countdown with Keith Olbermann regarding "Professional Agitators" and their sycophants. Plus, the Great Deciderer talks about "the Google". LOL!!
(from our friends at VOY TV)

In honour of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s groundbreaking ceremony for his National Mall memorial....I bring you this tribute from Stephen Colbert and the Colbert Report as a bonus video.

And FINALLY, the links to stuff discussed on today's show:

Gossip:
Uh, no Ms. Thing….you are not on the guest list!
OJ Simpson is insane, and so is FOX…actually now it all makes perfect sense. UPDATE: Heard there might be a title change: I think the Goldman’s suggested: The Killer Speaks.
The letter that got Fed-Ex's ass handed to him. This shizz is hysterical! (but somebody needs to take his Sharpie away!)And times are looking grim for homeskillet!

Politics:
Martin Luther King Jr. gets his memorial. Eat that Trent Lott!
How far do "Professional Agitators" go?
The "comeback" story I didn't want to hear. What the hell is wrong with those people on the Hill?

Informational:
WOW. The Internet is SOOO F***king Ungrateful!
What you need to know about Fraud Alert.
What you need to know about taking (or not) the Romantic Lead.
My latest HOTPICK: I love this...finally you can get the carpet to match the drapes!

The World is Coming to it's Senses!

2006-11-08T06:55:00.000-08:00

I don't even know where to start. First I hear that Britney done left that half-assed scrub of hers and then I hear that the Dems officially have the House of Reps and are pending outcomes for control of the Senate. Thank the Maker!! What?? I'm actually hyperventilating from JOY!!! FELICIDADES!!! To all who voted for our freedoms to be restored, for those who patiently waited for Brits to come to her senses. This is a day of triumph!

But first, let's take a minute to review the union of Spederline as immortalized by the talents of fourteen at Gallery of the Absurd:

For more of these hilarious images please check out Gallery of the Absurd.

Okay so on with the SHOW! Today we cover the demise of Spederline and the rise of the Dems to the Houses, Rummy gets the boot! Crazy Laws still on the books in your state and of course the Hot, HotPick!

Nueva Latina: Episode 9

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So I consider it my duty to keep us informed on the issues that matter. To that extent the following video roll (from our friends at VOY TV) has been selected for both coverage of reactions to the midterm election results AND a bonus Fall-fashions style clip! Enjoy....

And Finally the links to the exciting stuff discussed on the show!

Gossip:
The Sperderline Pre-Nup
Fed-Ex receives the news that his freeloading days are over!
In other news, Tom Cruise is eating his way to the altar and Madonna get's smacked in the head!

Politics:
Democrats take control!
The architect of the Iraq war and leading Bushie, Rumsfeld is stepping down!
Here's a breakdown of how the votes went down.
Weird laws in your state!

Informational:
Today's HotPick are these fabulous flats from Aldo Shoes! At just $30 bucks, they are a steal!

Dr. Ana Nogales author of Latina Power will be on Las Comadres!

But when a long train of Abuses and Usurpations.....

2006-11-06T07:54:00.000-08:00

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. - From The Declaration of Independence.

It was Ben Franklin, one of our founding fathers, who said, "Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."

It was Voltaire who said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

This is possibly the most important post I'll make all year. It's the day before our Tuesday elections and I'm imploring all voting adults to go to your polls and change the landscape of our personal freedoms.

The long train of this administration's abuses has gone on long enough. Whether you are a Democrat or Republican...this election year is about our right to hold our elected officials, our employees, accountable.

Nueva Latina: Episode 8

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From our friends at VOY TV: Democratic strategist Chris Schecter and GOP talking head Brad Blakeman's debate on MSNBC, highlights how this administration has used deception and out and out denial of reality to shape our political dialogue.

And Finally the links to stuff discussed on today's show:

Gossip:
I will forego the gossip today in favour of election coverage. But here are links to my fave gossip sites:
Pink is the New Blog
TMZ
Perez Hilton
A Socialite's Life

Politics:
Say no to a faith-based presidency!
On the Rise and Fall of our Democracy.

Key Races and Issues:
From MSNBC
From CNN
From the Washington Post

Find your local officials and races!

Feliz Dia de los Muertos!!

2006-11-02T07:18:00.000-08:00

Oh I love Day of the Dead. This is a wonderful tradition of honouring our ancestors and really keeping in touch with the energy and memory of the people we love who've passed on. I loves it! So in honour of this momentous day I am forgoing my usual hilarious pic from Gallery of the Absurd and bringing you this wonderful photograph from Mary J. Andrade who has spent the last 20 years chronicling The Day of Dead as it is celebrated throughout Mexico. Find out more about Mary and this wonderful tradition on her site.

Okay, so on today's show we discuss Latin Grammy's in the hizzy!! The Price is so Wrong, Liars, Posers, update on Madge's Malawian Maladies and the Day of the Dead! Busy day, so let's get to it!

Nueva Latina: Episode 7

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(So you may have noticed the Johnny Cash song I featured. Um, I just love his music....so if you are looking for royalties...I have no money)

So, to highlight today's podcast: I bring you my baby daddy and righteous Patriot: Keith Olbermann. On this day's Countdown with Keith Olbermann, he takes on the LIARS in media and the administration.

Courtesy of our friends at VOY TV.

And FINALLY, the fabulishious links to all the stuff discussed on the show!

Gossip:
Say Goodnight Bob!
Somebody needs to get Flavour Flav a condom. Ew.
TomKat does Mussolini. Hmm, seems right somehow.
Boo! Hiss! So much for free speech!
Kohl's and Christina. Perfect together?
Penelope Cruz may get Oscar nod for "Volver".
Latin Grammy's in the hizzy!

Politics:
Democrats need some PR schooling. And why are we forgetting that the Great Decider made incredibly awful remarks himself! But hopefully this too shall pass.
Rush Limbaugh NEVER apologized, it’s just his media buddies covering up for his fat ass!
Nancy Pelosi, misquoted and vilified.
Secret Letter from Iraq. Try and question his patriotism RCN!

Informational:
Move over Waldo, it's Shakespeare we're looking for.
Mayan tradition's explored!
What do you do when your parents die broke? It can happen, but it doesn’t have to spell financial disaster for you.
Young Entrepreneurs Unite! I'm so in awe of these younguns.
My HotPick of the Day: Make-up specifically for Latinas!

2006-10-30T18:13:00.000-08:00

HAPPY MONDAY!! This is it countdown to Halloween and all the little crumb-snatchers that will be knocking on your door looking for treats! I have my big bowl of cavities already set out. I do not like to give kids candies, but I sure learned my lesson one year when I thoughtfully gave out puzzles and pencils and healthy snacks. Um, FYI toilet paper is not easy to get off trees!

Okay, so in honour of Halloween, which is tomorrow if you don't already have your costume, I bring you this horrible nightmare: El Corpse. Thanks to our friends at Gallery of the Absurd!! Mwaahaahaaa!! Yikes. J.Lo's hubby is a scary beast! So if you don't have a costume might I suggest going as the undead Marc Anthony. LOLOLOL!!

This pic is actually a recreation of J.Lo and Marc Anthony's upcoming film "El Cantante".

On with the SHOW: On today's show we will talk Horror! In honour of Halloween. A divorce not-so-shocker, Madge in the big city, Oprah makes philanthropists of her audience, Hot Latinas, Politics and as we end Breast Cancer Awareness HotPicks with a must have!
Nueva Latina: Episode 6

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So to end our Halloween Madnesss, this weeks video is from Director Tim Haskell. It's a short horror film entitled "Monitor" DON'T WATCH IT ALONE!! Thanks to our friends at VOY TV.

And FINALLY, the links for stuff discussed on the show:

Gossip:
Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon Divorce not-so-SHOCKER!
Madonna makes a jetsetter outta David Banda...
Oprah gives money to others so they can give it away: Um, Pay it Forward, bitches!
Salma Hayek on Ugly Betty!
Gabriel Garcia Bernal talks border control.

Politics:
Oaxaca's problem worsens, but first some background.
Reports of problems with voting in 10 states!
Michael J. Fox not deterred by negativity.
(conservative) NY Post endorses Hilary Clinton! SHOCKER. Quick Ernesto, grab the women and children, the world is coming to an end!

Infomational:
Breast Cancer Awareness HotPick! I understand that she also makes J.Lo's favourite scent.
Now you can eat KFC guilt free-ish!
Please read Little Children before Hollywood ruins it! (maybe.)
BONUS: Greates Horror Movie Scenes of ALL TIMES. (or in this reviewer's opinion)

Women on the Edge!!

2006-10-27T13:42:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday everyone!! It's been a long road home, baby. I've been having troubles with GCast the host of my podshow. They suck. But at last I have an edited version of Wednesday's show up on the blog. And today we have a variety of topics to cover so let's get on with it!

From our favourite site at Gallery of the Absurd, and in honour of K-Fed's debut album....I bring you Britney Spears' latest product launch:

Okay on with the SHOW: Today we have a hot, hot show and we are debuting the first in our 4,568 part series "Ask a Friend". Today's friend is West Indian-Canadian and filmmaker Laurel O'Neil. We will be asking all the questions that you’ve been wanting to ask. Okay, we are also going to talk about the best way to Quit your Job (yeah there really are rules), filling up on our Hollywood gossip, catching up with the doings on Capitol Hill and finally our HotPicks for Breast Cancer Awareness!!

Nueva Latina: Episode 5

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From our friends at VOY TV (and in keeping with our office tips theme) I bring you this funny-ass clip from The Office: Microsoft Training.

And Finally, here are the links to stuff mentioned on the show:
Laurel O'Neil, black friend and documentarian: imaginelifefilms@gmail.com (Please email her if you have any questions about her documentary on Nanny's)

Gossip:
Part 36 of Madonna's Malawian Malady
Dixie Chicks – Shut up & Sing documentary

Politics:
Matt Taibbi's: The Worst Congress Ever, plus The Worst Congressmen Ever
Michael J. Fox speaks with Katie Couric about Rush and his endorsement of stem cell research.

Informational:
The Right Way to Quit Your Job By Alexandra Levi
Check out the Breast Cancer Awareness HotPick: From ELF which stands for Eyes Lips and Face, great cosmetic line that is just $1!!

Starving Zombies and Foley Follies!

2006-10-25T10:27:00.000-07:00

Happy hump day everyone! Man I love Wednesdays! They are just the perfect in the middle day that gives you enough distance from Monday to get perspective and enough time to still catch up on work before the weekend!

Okay today's feature from Gallery of the Absurd is in honor of Halloween! I love a good scare and nothing, I mean nothing, scares me more than a woman who won't eat. Won't somebody please feed the pretty people? Here we see Nicole Richie, Starving Zombie on her way to NOT feast on people's brains. Apparently, brains are fatty.

Yikes. Moving on! In today's podcast we talk about Madonna's Malawian Malady, how sleeping can make you flaca (it's true!!), what those crazies on Capital Hill are saying, Glamour magazine tells your story, some of my favourite Halloween Haunts (where pray you don't run into Nicole Richie) and, of course, my Breast Cancer Awareness HotPick!

Let me apologize for my nasaly sounding vocal! I have horrible allergies. Please enjoy my laboured breathing. Nueva Latina: Episode Four

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From our friends at VOY TV comes this great Video Roll entitled: FOLEY FOLLIES! This video roll comes in honour of today's testimony by House Speaker Dennis Hastert in front of the House Ethics Committee. He's supposed to answer what he knew and when he knew about Mark Foley's harrassment of underaged White House Pages.

And finally: here are the links to stuff mentioned on the show:
Madonna's Malawian Malady continues, but she goes on Oprah to say "Public don't Preach! I'm keeping my baby!"
TomKat finally sets a date, but it's not to late for Katie to run!
Sleeping can make you FLACA!
Michael J. Fox's commercial for Maryland Democrat Ben Cardin makes Rush Limbaugh CRAZY! (or crazier? or just his regular old dumbass self?)
Glamour Magazine: Reel Moments Contest!!
Fun Halloween in NYC and in Long Island! Have a bootiful time! (eh, I couldn't resist)
Two HotPicks: Tweezerman and Lorac’s Perfect Pink

I Had a Dream.....Analysis!

2006-10-23T08:18:00.000-07:00

Holla! To all my listeners, my apologies for taking so long with a new post. I had some computer troubles with my old MAC clamshell. So I took Claudia Christina (that's what I call her) to the MAC "Genius" center to see what those genuises could tell me. You can hear all about it on the podshow today! But the punch line is that I'm not currently on my lovely MAC. *sigh*

Okay, so next up is my favourite pic from Gallery of the Absurd It's a hysterical pic of Tom Cruise loving himself. I bring this to you since today I will be discussing homosexiness during my "Celebrities are Crazy" segment.

So in my continuing desire to see women healthy, this weeks Breast Cancer Awareness hotpick is Rachel Ray's awsome t-Shirt. I am a huge fan of the domestic diva and love her energy and genuine desire to eat! Check out her online shop and do your part to fight breast cancer!

On this weeks show we discuss two Hollywood bitch fights, continuing coverage of Breast Cancer Awarness month, Celebrity Adoptions, a suprise Presidential run in '08, the accent's the thing and my dreams get analysed!

My Odeo Channel (odeo/da0a8eacd176c25b)

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Drum roll please! From our friends at VOY TV: Cooking with Feminists!

And finally, here are the links to products and/or services mentioned on the show:

Rachel Ray Breast Cancer YUMMO! t-shirt!
Sandra Rodriguez Barron: The Heiress of Water (you HAVE TO READ THIS BOOK)
Gallery of the Absurd - Tom loves Tom pic!
Listen to Leyden getting her dream analyzed.(hurray I'm not crazy!)
Kelly Sullivan Walden, Dream Coach - teleclass!
The Accent's the Thing at VivirLatino.com!

Aliens, Bad Lovers, Tetas test and Puerto Rico!

2006-10-09T20:47:00.000-07:00

I was flipping through the channels today, it’s Monday and my usual shows aren’t on. So this is normally the day I try to catch up on my Tivo and some left over laundry from the weekend. But today I was saved from all that drudgery when I came across this amazing movie on the IFC channel. Yo Soy Boricua, Pa’ Que Tu Lo Sepas, is Rosie Perez’s directorial debut. The movie follows Puerto Rico’s complex relationship with the United States and it’s struggle for it’s identity.

I’ll also talk Aliens, question whether good politics makes bad lovers and finally round up some gossip. Stay tuned for this fun-packed Episode 2 of Nueva Latina!
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To stay in theme with our Puerto Rican story I have selected this great video from VOYtv.com. It's takes a look at the Puerto Rican surfer scene!

Finally, some quicklinks to the products and/or services mentioned:
La Casita De Chema
Keith Olbermann a Dud in Bed, but still smart as hell!
Gallery of the Absurd
Bath and Body Works
Las Comadres - Author's Teleconference!!

Nueva Latina talks Breast Cancer!!

2006-10-08T17:05:00.000-07:00

I spent the last couple of days deciding what I would be doing for my inaugural blog. After careful consideration of subjects ranging from “How to Achieve Your Best Orgasm” to “Finding the Right Gynecologist” I realized that October already held the answer. This month is Breast Cancer Awareness month. That means that every Comadre from AA’s to EEE’s needs to go get her tetas checked out.

The American Cancer society states that Hispanic women have a 50% chance of getting breast cancer if they have a history of breast cancer in the familia. That is 50% over women with no such history. Get your tetas check out, mijas!

Okay on with the show: In this weeks episode we catch up with hot gossip, some fave songs, NYC hot spots, and my favourite make-up routine!

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Next Up, some of the hottest vids on the web from VOY TV, home of the Latin video community. Visit them at www.voytv.com

Quicklinks to items discussed on the show:
American Cancer Org
Bare Minerals Make-up
Pink Is The New Blog
The Donut Plant
Third Bear Inc
Artist: Ineabell Diaz
Las Comadres Para Las Americas
Dr. Ana Nogales
VOY TV: The Latin Video Community

Nueva Latina

2006-10-06T08:23:00.000-07:00

Where the hip, sophisticated Latina lives!

Through a unique combination of podcasting, blogging and video, Nueva Latina will explore the interests and issues of the New Latina. A member of the new generation of American woman who is both rooted in her Latin and American culture.

We'll talk sex, religion, Mami, Papi, that novio malo, and those amazing comadres that make it all worth while!