Never say never...

This year has been a big year for me as I turned 40 in February. First of all I never thought I would be 40 and secondly I realized that 40 is not as "OLD" as I thought it was. Over the last couple of years I made several transitions in life that made me realize that I was once very young and naive and I proclaimed that I would "Never" do several things such as:

-Be far away from family

-Leave the state of Virginia

-Follow a man 

-Be a housewife

-Put my career second after anyone or anything

-Own a big dog

-Live in Texas

-Marry a man that is younger than my brother

This is just a short list of things that I naively proclaimed I would never do. Well guess what I have had to take back all of my "nevers" because I did them all. 

When I was young I thought I knew exactly what my life was going to look like. I had a timeline, goals, and high expectations. Although I did not put my list to paper, it was strongly engrained in my head. The funny thing is that nothing happened as planned. I ended up leaving Virginia and family and friends to head to Iowa of all places...that for sure was not a destination listed on my life plan. My decision to go to Iowa to pursue my doctorate as a full-time student was a pivotal life changing decision. I had many experiences I never thought I would. I visited California and most importantly Disney Land, I was a part of a curling intramural team, I went to the Iowa State Fair every year I was there, and I also made annual pilgrimages to the Mall of America. I really had a great time!! I enjoyed my doc student years even more than I did my undergrad years! I learned once again that friends could become extended family and the value of establishing networks of empowerment across the country. I also learned more about myself and reaffirmed my core values as I struggled to navigate the process of earning a doctorate. I learned to have a new love and appreciation for the green and luscious springs that would come after long and cold winters. I also unexpectedly met my future husband in Iowa of all places. Talk about random....how does a Latina from Virginia meet a Colombian guy in Iowa?

So thanks to the Colombian guy I met in Iowa, I have had to take back more "nevers" than I ever expected ;) After meeting Fernando and realizing that I could have more than just a career as a legacy in my life, I had to learn what partnership really meant. In our case it meant making the decision to put the relationship above all other things. This was very hard for me because so much of my identity was wrapped around being a strong independent Latina woman and in my naive mind that meant that I had to rule and that a man had to follow me and my career. I struggled a lot with this and still find that from time to time it sneaks back up in my head. With the help of a health scare (funny how life works to nudge you along), I realized that life was short and that my career alone was not going to give me the full life I had envisioned for myself. I realized that I was blessed to have met someone that I wanted to build a home with. So I took the plunge and followed my man, to Texas, without a job, became a housewife temporarily, we got a big dog and to top it all off he is 3 months younger than my brother!

Now I understand that life takes you on its own journey full of unexpected twists and turns. The twists and turns can be fun and sometimes they are not, but at the end I survived and with time I have come to appreciate it all.

So now whenever I hear someone say "never" I just smile to myself.